do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
