Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
