Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We got so high we made milksteak
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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