Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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