Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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