Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
