Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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