I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
