____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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