I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
