would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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