i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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