I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
