I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
