Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The adults are the big ones right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
