i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize