my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.