508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.