i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.