it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating