I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
