I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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