I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i've created a new STD.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
