Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize