I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
