Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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