Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
