Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
