Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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