but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
