so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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