I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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