I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
