I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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