At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize