yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
