i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
