the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
