yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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