According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
