The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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