I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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