He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
