Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We're facebook friends in real life
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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