So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
