Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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