I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
