you guys were way drunker than both of me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
