i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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