4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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