Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
