even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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