I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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