I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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