Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
