I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
