He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
