bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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