How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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