My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
