this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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