you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize