dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
