UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
