fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
