We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
