I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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