You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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