SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
