remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
