Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
