508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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